Harry and Ron’s Elevator Escapade
by Sataygre
Summary: this is a story about HP & RW finding an elevator in hogworts.Warning:RANDOMNESS! be afraid, be very afraid!
1. prolouge

**A/N:** Okay, here we go! This is the first (hopefully of many) stories that we're doing as a group, so it might be a little strange because we all have different writing styles.But anyways, you readers probably don't want to listen to my blabbering, so I'll just start the chapter now….

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, and I don't own the world. I wish I did though, because then I'd be rich, and have TONS of power!****

Harry and Ron's Great and Terrible Elevator Escapades

_-Chapter One-_

_By,_

_GQI_

"Run Ron! Run!" Harry said, "I think he's catching up with us!"

"I'm running as fast as I can Harry! Look back and see if he's getting closer!"

"I'm not gonna take that chance, we should just keep running!"

Now, the reader should know that Harry and Ron were running from Professor Snape, after they hadpainted his office and quarters bright pink, with a border of bunnies.Unbeknownst to the two of them, Snape had stopped chasing after them some ten minutes previous, so he could get ready for his remedial potions lesson.

"Hey Ron?"

"Yea Harry?"

Harry stopped running, out of breath. "I just noticed something."

Ron stopped too. "What?"

"He stopped chasing us."

"He did?"

"Yea."

"Oh. Hey Harry?"

"What?"

"What should we do now?"

"I don't know."

The boys then looked around them and noticed that they didn't recognize where they were. This was, of course because they were in an abandoned, unused, forgotten, but not forbidden corridor. They then noticed something odd.

"Hey Harry?"

"Yea Ron?" (Notice a pattern anyone?)

"What the heck is that?"

"What?"

"That!" Said Ron, pointing to (what he thought was) a strange looking contraption.

"That's an elevator."

"A what-avator?"

At this, Harry sighed loudly and in a very Hermione-like voice said, "An _ele_vator Ronald. It's a muggle thing that carries people up and down."

"What are those buttons for?"

"You press the one with the 'up' arrow if you want to go up, and the one with the 'down' arrow if you want to go down."

"Let's press one!"

"Okay, it'll give us something to do."

Ron then pressed the up button, and the elevator doors slid open.

"The doors opened!"

"Yea, they do that."

"Wow, that's amazing! Let's go inside!"

They entered the elevator and saw tons of buttons. (Think the Glass Elevator in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.") Ron pressed one of the buttons. The doors closed, and they started to move downward.

"Harry! What's happening?"

"We're moving down."

"But how?"

"Because (didn't he go over this already?) that's what elevators do, they move people up and down."

"Oh."

At that moment, as if on cue the doors slid open to reveal…

**A/N:** Done! Please tell us what you guys think!


	2. Fumbelmore's Friends

Disclaimer: Just like everyone on this site, Sarah, Taylor, and I don't own anything written by J. K. Rowling, though if she ever wanted to change that, we would agree before she could say 'Do'.

* * *

_Fumblemore's "Friends"_

_Chapter Two_

_By,_

_AWG_

The boys stood aghast. The sight before them was NOT what they had expected.

"Hey! Look over there Cherry! Some hotties just walked through Hell's Door! I wonder how big their cocks are! Those gnomes had the smallest ones I've ever seen!" Vanilla said excitedly. Her, Cherry, and the other dozen pixies were harlequin sex dancers trained and then imported from France. Despite their small bodies, they had large breasts and VERY capable tongues…lol.

"Ummmm…Harry?" Ron was shocked. Not only were there fourteen sexy pixies flying towards them, but there was an old man that looked suspiciously like Dumbles walking over.

"Hey! You two shouldn't be here! Only paying customers!" The old man said with a low and gravely voice.

"But Master! We want to play with their cocks!" the pixies said in their shrill voices.

Harry and Ron exchanged looks, then Harry said "We have money!" and then the pixies jumped them.

* * *

An hour later, the boys had both orgasmed four times, while each pixie had done it twice as many times. Harry reminded himself to ask Hermione about the little creatures. 

"Out you go boys. Come back any time!" the old man, who they discovered was Dumbledore's older, and much less respectable brother, Fumblemore. They had found that they liked the geezer, and both had promised themselves to come back, soon and often.

"Bye Nil, Cherry, Latte, Carmel, Bon Bon, Dumplin', Sugar, Maple, Cream, Kit, Klonnie, Orgy, Sweetie, Pepper, and Fatty! See ya later!" Ron called as the elevator door closed.

"Well that was exiting. Here, I'm going to mark all of the floors we go too. You can pick this one to. That was so great you deserve a second turn." Harry's face was bright and filled with his smile. He wasn't a virgin, but that was better then anything he'd ever experienced.

They stood, still catching their breaths. Ron pressed another button, and the elevator went flying to the right, then up, and then left. After a second of complete stillness, the doors opened to reveal-

* * *

A/N: Well, there's my first chapter. Yes, each pixie orgasmed eight times. They really get into it.lol. All of the chapters in this series will probably be pretty short, so sry if u lik long chaps. Fortunatly there r goin 2 b a lot of chaps,so that wont mattr 1ce its dun.Don't worry if you're not into sex scenes, there are only about ten levels that include sex, and the next one doesn't. All of them are pretty different, unless you think unicorn mating rituals and centaur whorehouses are similar… 


	3. the meeting

Disclaimer: if Greta, Taylor, or I owned any of it, you wouldn't be reading it on a fan fiction website, you would be buying it in stores. And it also couldn't be called a children's book.

"_The Meeting"_

_By_

_GQI_

_And the doors slid open to reveal………_  
A long hallway. With a door at the end. From the other side of the door, loud noises that sounded like shouting could be heard.Harry turned to Ron and asked, "What do you think that is?""I don't know, maybe more pixies?" Ron replied in a** very** hopeful tone.Then, the boy's curiosity took over and they rushed to the door to see what was on the other end. They opened the door to reveal a slightly disturbing sight. Luna Lovegood was standing in a very skimpy white bikini at the head of a conference table. Seated around the table were several ministry officials, including the minister himself. Now, knowing Luna, this would have usually been passed off as a "normal" occurrence. Except for one thing. All of the officials were tied down to the chairs with obviously magical ropes. The boys could do nothing but gape.When Luna noticed them, she said, "Oh hello there! Have you two met my friends?"One of the officials in the back of the room shouted out, "We're not your friends, physco!"Luna turned to looked at him in a way which could only be described as the ever-used, "if looks could kill, he would have died, been resurrected, then killed again." (Okay, maybe not so "ever-used.", but still) To Harry and Ron's surprise though, the man actually_ did_ die.  
"Soooo, Luna," Harry began, "what are you up to?" Then Ron blurted out, "And why are you dressed like that!?"  
She looked at them both and then calmly said, "I'm discussing some very important business matters with some of the members of the ministry. And I'm wearing this because it's my negotiating uniform. Daddy always says that a bikini is the most practical of clothing for a meeting. He has a lovely pink, orange, yellow, and lime green flowered one.  
Both boys paled at the image of Mr. Lovegood, a slightly overweight man, with extremely hairy arms that they met at Kings Cross that September, in a bikini of any sort. Ron actually turned a bit green.  
"Would you like to stay and watch the meeting?" Luna asked them.  
The boys looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Sure."  
Luna gave them a decidedly evil grin and said, "Take a seat." She pointed to two chairs that had appeared by magic.  
They sat. Luna then got out a small red hammer. She circled around the ministry officials.  
"So, you thought that you could cover up the existence of crumple-horned snorcacks by locking them away? And hide the nargles by forcing them to do hard labor in your grape mines? And what about the heliopaths? Just because you hushed up the press about them, doesn't mean that they don't exist!" At each official she passed, she hit him or her (use your imagination as to where) with the little red hammer. At each hit, the hammer emitted a loud squeak.  
One of the braver (or stupider, seeing as what happened to the last one) shouted, "What are you talking about? What are rumple-corned snorcacks, largels, of heliumpaths? You are insane!"  
Luna responded to this remark by hitting the man repeatedly on the head with her little red hammer of doom. "I. squeak Am. squeak Not. squeak INSANE! squeak squeak squeak squeak squeeeeeeak   
Harry turned to Ron and said, "I think that we should go!"  
Ron said, "I'm right behind you!"  
They ran out of the room and back into the elevator.  
Harry said, "It's my turn to push a button now."  
He pushed one. The elevator began to move downward, and than upward, and then sharply to the left.  
Then, the doors slid open to reveal…….

**A/N: there's chapter three. If you people haven't noticed, all of the chapters will end with, "and the doors slid open to reveal……." Or something like it. Oh and please review!!**


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